when something mattered......

what to say about the most unfulfilling life and the suffocation that it causes. MBA, they say is just so good, everyone wants to pursue it coz mba forces you to attain great heights.Since coming into the B school, I have never once had a peace of mind. The life is running on a ever circling, ever tiring wheel. But when u stop and think about the one useful thing u learned that day or the one thing that gave u real pleasure, u really can't find it. I would give anything for a day at peace, when I don't have to continuously check my mail or the notice board for any development which requires my presence, when thinking is just day dreaming about the limitless possibilities or say impossibilities, when sleeping is just a choice for u, when u watch n enjoy the weather, when there is no need for a dance party to be organised for u to dance, when looking into the mirror, u feel a different person is looking back for the look of forlorn and sleeplessness is completely gone, when friends are just together for the fun rather than for completing an assignment, when learning is not just to pass an exam, when people don't compete and when life doesn't suck as it does now.

future..........

There are so many memories in life that when u think abt them, sometimes somewhere in the unconscious level, you replay it in your mind again. But, it so happens that all the good memories become a bit blurred and a little more satisfactory than when they were experienced first and all the bad ones a little less torturing. We tend to look at the learnings which we got after those bad experiences and feel good that we passed those times coming out victorious. Struggle has so much more to provide us. I remember once when the time was so bad that I used to have all those inspirations to do something really ugly. But the moment passed. I won't say that the experience may never again happen but the way I am going to handle it would be with confidence and a sense of self.
Life is a struggle. The hard things would be hard to pass by but they are passed, the future would be much brighter.
I sometime have all the doubts a girl has about the future, about all the things whose occurrence is not too far off but mind has all the mechanisms to foresee them as stalled. The fear emanates thinking about the uncertainty of the future, of all the responsibilities and the duties. All the questions come back and you develop a sense of separation from today and try to develop a present model of the future.

It is at these times that we need a stronghold, an internal locus of control, the will and austerity.