Love does stop ur heart for a minute and then laughter stops altogether. Life is funny and a tragedy at the same time. It is hard too. More hard than i thought it will be. Its really astonishing that the heart really hurts sometimes. I didnt believed in that kind of thing before. Bt it does. The pain takes you over and the isolation and sadness which we feel is undescribable. If you live in the moment, stop living becoz there will come a time when you will try to relive all ur moments and the pain of those moments will destroy
you and even more cause you tremendous pain. Will you cone out as a stronger or weaker person is yet to be seen.
So living in the moment is d worst you can do to your heart.
So look ahead and think coz believe it or not heart bleeds and there is no cure

He is going in another month. Dont no... How can i stop him. Dont know how to make him understand that i cant let him go. Dont know how to say that i need him... He is a habit... A addiction... Maybe a part of me.
Another month..... I can see him....feel him.... Hold him.....n den he will be gone for ever.... From this city.... Maybe from my life...
I can still feel his eyes on my face... His hands in mine....his protecting me.... But i cant remember when i came close to him. I cant remember when i start feeling his presence in my life...  he is gonna go n dere will b a gaping hole where he was.
I dont even know i love him.... He is d first guy i kissed...
he is d guy i hav let so close.
N he is so different dan d guy i wanted. He is so diff dan me. I know i hav to let him go.
Its just so difficult. N it sucks big time

one hell of a saturday

So.... U live in this n what do u do each weekend. Just sit at home n enjoy d laziness of d monumental burden on earth that u r. Sumwhere anna hazare might be getting sumthing done fr d country n countless ppl r on d verge of a historic moment.... I took a detour..... Did sumthing normally dont hav d courage or will to do.
So 2 ppl on a bike 2 enjoy d day.... N d meanwhile getting comfortable n friendly. So i guess friends can really make life n in dis case chennai worth loving.
Be it d amazing beaches or d roadside chai or even fortune tellers who r just Too keen to get u married by sum stroke of luck n get sumthing to eat too.... Its d simple things in life dat really make it so much beautiful..... Be it d long walk or a long talk..... Or a bike ride or even a simple smile..... It does wonders to sumone's day n mood.
So wat i hav till now written doesnt explicitly state wat i did on saturday..... N i m pretty sure u might not be too interested in wat i hav got 2 say too. Waise bhi yaar ur life is too much messed up if u want 2 read abt my saturday.
Just wanted to say that mayb.... U think u r nt at d best of places wid d best of pubs or hang outs..... Bt really ppl do dose really matters. Wat matters is ppl....n u can easily get gud ppl nywhere.... Remember normal distribution.....d concept works here too..... Trust me. So smile a little.... N smile 2 d unknown ppl around u.... U might never know u might me making sum1 else's day.

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afternoon scrawls

There comes a time in life when everything seems haywire.... When u feel dat its nt what u thot or really imagined life to be. In this time of desperation what should be one's course.... to go on living d life one has right now or take a stand to change it. Can we develop the courage to understand this desperation and do we do nything to change it.
Are we not the biggest catalysts in our own lives ?? we are d drivers of our fate. Destiny is what we make of ourselves.
Everyday we look at our surroundings n find ppl hurrying to reach their destinations. Bt d thing we notice is dey r running to go to their everyday jobs being a puppet in d hands of a big company. But do v ever divert our attention to the chosen few who may not b as well off or maynot hav as much money as d oders but these r d ppl who r living their dreams. Dey r running to make a mark.... A diff ......n dey r nt giving up even after so many failures
Where do i stand in both these sets?? am i d driver of my life or am i being driven like d majority. Will i make a diff in d world like a select few?? bt to answer this question..... To make a diff...... Every1 needs 2 follow dere dream.....be dat change dey want 2 see in d world.

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my life here n now

Are you one of those people who spent their lives looking for the perfect one and in the meantime also become aware that all except you are having fun.
What right have you got to bind yourselves in these chains of misery and be judgemental of each and every step you take.
These are the preconcieved notions that really provide an obstruction for you to grow and be a better person. I may love and lose but atleast i have the courage to put my heart out there. It is another thing that my heart would be scrambled like a boiled egg.
I may be far from perfect. But get one thing clear guys...... Imperfection rocks.

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Chennai and its effects

Chennai... the one city I never dreamt of arriving... but after 23 years of my life spent in rather not awkward places, God wanted me to have a taste of a different India... where simplicity blooms and woman are identified by the gazras rather than clothes, where hearing a hindi word might be really once in a blue moon and humidity is omnipresent. The kick in the knickers..... Chennai which north indians dread. I dreaded it too but Fate has a way of coming back to you and kick you in the nuts when you are busy not believing it.

Its almost 2 months I have been here... n this is my experience in the city.

I came to this city for my 1st job. The job I was looking to make a point... to prove myself which needs to be pointed out that there isin't much to prove. The journey started on a promising note.. meeting new people, meeting old people and forging relationships, finding a place and for the 1st time.. being really independent. Induction was a great experience. But it wasn't all there was. The journey and the people in it lasted 2 weeks. N then it became clear to me that Chennai was the place to be. Howsoever hard I may try to break free from it.... I can't.

The realization was one which clearly didn't go well down my "dreams of being in mumbai " mind. One of the sideeffects of being a hardcore optimistic are accepting reality and moving on.

I found a home... with 3 friends and a job that was the least bit interesting. But it seems a bit fika argument when from d 1st salary n scraping from here and there you can afford a mobile phone n dat too samsung galaxy s :-) .

N if u r nt serious cribbing of no bars n pubs....u get too love the beautiful sea which works wonders with the mood and can convert ny non chennaite into a great lover( not me tho.... i m made of stronger stuff:-)).

N ny place is made by the kind of people they hav.... N chennai has quite a lot....nt dat gud 2 luk at bt gr8 at heart.

Its a bumpy ride till now.... Bt u find friends n life kicks ass. Dat is what i did.

Yesterday all my troubles seem so far away
Now it looks as if they are here to stay
Oh i believe... in Yesterday

I think its one of the gr8est songs ever. Not because it tells the state of each and every one of us but it talks about Yesterday. How is it, that yesterday always seems so promising and so enchanting than what is in front of us. How come we will remember the times we spent with an unknown person with much more clarity than the ones with loved ones. It is too simple yet too complicated to understand
We meet people everyday. Some are so unlike us and probably those are the ones we try to emulate. Its great to be part of someone else's thought process. Knowing that someone somewhere cares for you and is thinking of you.. even if its truly platonic can work wonders for a person's being. What struck of "yesterday" is not its appeal, its the memories that strike the heart strings and still keeps them ringing for more.

Children love it. Adults emulate them (at least try to). What makes people to come back week after week to know the dilemma and events affecting the lives of superheroes? There are n no of superheroes in the reel world today being the savior of the world. Take superman in metropolis , batman in gotham and still counting.Why is the world so obsessed with superheroes? what is it about their lives that just throws open the minds of us, lesser mortals.
I recently got a handful of batman comics... batman year one, the long Halloween, the gotham central........gawd the creativity blew open my mind off. What is most unusual and rather striking for me was not the appeal of the hero, rather it was the vices of the anti heroes.
Apart from the magnificent canvases and the alluring effects, comics open up a world where the readers personify with their screen fellows and migrate into the false reality to tackle evil forces or in some cases be the evil.
Who would have thought reel was so real? The intermingling feelings and the allure of such arenas do open avenues where the readers completely lose themselves.

Freedom

It's kind of weird but sometimes we take things for granted and mind it, those things which are so critical to our survival; i read a great novel today 1984... it was great in the aspect that it showed me the benefits of living in an open and free society... i know freedom has its perils but it is in any way less than a repressed society. So guys lets enjoy and make ourselves proud of the wonderful gift that makes us to accomplish great and innovative things in life without being in shackles

Is everything commercialized? The clothes we wear, the books we read, the news we see and the people we try to impersonate. In this quest to find ourselves, are we not increasingly trying to emulate others. In order to find our identity, we are looking at people and demanding recognition from them. Are we not becoming mercenaries, so out of touch with what really matters. In the depths of our lives, we have become moral leeches sucking the life out of the human souls we once were.

Overflow of love

If love was the last damn thing you were left with, would that be enough. Would it be sufficient to survive in this world... this ever changing ever staying same mess of the world. The love that shines through the hardest of times,strikes at the core, develops such emotions that makes us sometimes the strongest and sometimes the weakest person ever. Is love the most powerful force we have within us? Is it the most beautiful thing we will ever experience? Will the hope that emanates from love never leave our heart and forces us to do things that we weren't even aware that we were capable of. Is love in the things around us, is it within us, is it in our friends ? The love that does miraculous things and still remains the same. The love that helps us to see the error in our ways. Have you looked in a person's eyes and saw tremendous, mind altering, unlimited and irreplacable love and still you have rejected him. Is love the answer we seek throughout our lives. We believe we will find happiness though money, power and success. But we never do. Love is the thing which can't be replaced by materialistic things. We go though lives living like fools and making us believe we don't need love. But is it not love we seek, desire, search and never let go.

Some of the last days in this college which I never did like so much. But leaving it there seems to be a feeling that is confusing at the least. I have a farewell in a couple of days and I fail to understand what is it that I am taking from this college. I see people in relationship.........happy.... content and at peace. While I am still searching for the path and i keep going back to we don't find life we create it.After 2 yyears of college, I found that what i believed in, how I did things was completely not me. I am not an introvert rather I blend in late. I could have a lot of friends and here I am not even sure i have any. The college has finished but the countless answers questioning my identity, my being hasn't.

lost in the bitterness i pushed him away
and now i am here alone and i can't stay
how can i go so wrong i lost a friend
and here i am in this world scared
and i can't think what's left for me