i m confused........dont get angry

Maybe falling in love would be gr8. It will bring gr8 happiness and a new perspective to life. It would make me feel wanted and desired. Every1 around me is in relationship. It wont be as tough as I initially thought it to be. The feeling of togetherness, of being committed and having a gr8 dream of being 1. Life would take a completely different turn and it will open up new desires. I dont no there are 1000 thousand reasons not 2 be in a relationship for me but I still desire it. Maybe after joining XIMB i m surrounded by the loneliness here, the isolation and the stillness. I dont hav gr8 dreams just a simple life filled love , trust and happiness. When did my ambition die? Wow dats another unanswered question but after coming here I know one thing for sure, I dont want excess money. I want 2 live my life helping people. Maybe dats my calling. I wish these 2 yrs do help me in finding abt my real wishes and my future.There are so many things that I wish 2 no abt myself which I have not been able 2 find till now but one thing dat i no abt myself n dats keeps strengthening as time passes is my belief and trust in relationship n in particular friendship. Blood relationships are forced onto u n u never choose them but its frnds which u make urself n never regret. I may never no y I believe so much in frndship. Maybe I have d best frnds in d whole world n maybe XIMB is lonely coz I dont hav them rite now, rite here to help me find my unanswered questions. But I m ready 2 be at this place if after 2 yrs I can answer them. The freedom I hav here is immense but there is 1 less thing here n dat is being a better frnd. They dont teach that here. Its all short term relationships they talk abt(maybe not).But forgive me, I m feeling -ve abt this place rite now .